Equal Opportunity Embarasser

The Gremlin proved his social prowess once again last night as he went from manipulating one crowd to trying to manipulate another. As active and charitable citizens, the Mother of the Gremlin is a member of the Woodland Park Zoo. She decided to bring the Gremlin out for a special trip to their Member's Night.

The Gremlin was enjoying his evening, partaking in the bouncy house, eating stick after stick of free cotton candy. And it was only when he was slowed by a line for his most favorite event of all - the inflatable obstacle course ending in a slide.

After his fifth time through, he and the MOTG found themselves in line next to a very nice, very well-meaning, but ultimately cataclysmic man in line with his son. After a bit of conversational chatter, he sparked the Gremlin.

"Too bad you're not in labor, then you wouldn't have to wait in line," the nice man's off hand comment made the Gremlin's eyes light up, and he turned towards his mother.

"What's labor?"

"It's when the baby is coming right now, so if you are out somewhere, sometimes you don't have to wait in line." The Gremlin sat quietly digesting this. That scary, quiet, thoughtful look came over his face, and the Gremlin stepped out to look down the length of the line.

He turned back to the MOTG, and there, a few feet out of the line, he screamed as loud as a 4 year-old is able to.

"Everybody my mom's having a baby right now so it's gotta be my turn RIGHT NOW!"

There was the sound of beer snorting through a man's nose as the drink of the gentleman behind them was propelled through his nasal passages by a quick laugh, but other than that a silence settled across the entirety of the Woodland Park zoo.

After the MOTG fended off seven or eight offers to call an ambulance and tried to stand in line as inconspicuously as possible, however the Gremlin was distraught.

"I don't understand why I didn't get to go next..."


Favorite Toy of the Week: Playmobile Pirate Ship

Wisdom of a 4 Year Old - On Finding Diversity

I tell people that the Gremlin deliberately embarrasses us because, well, he does. The Mother of the Gremlin took him to one of our favorite sandwich shops the other day, and the Gremlin, who had been whining all day, saw the store and took off - almost as if he was on a mission.

We should have been more aware, but we let him into the store and stepped in line to order. Suddenly, we hear the Gremlin's voice and turn to see him talking with a black man waiting for his food.

"'Scuse me." The man looked down and the Mother of the Gremlin made this small moan in the back of her throat, and then looked away, as if that would make the Gremlin stop.

"Where are all the black people in Seattle?" The man's eyes grew wide and then started looking around the store, probably to see if he was being Punk'd.

"I'm sorry, what?" The Gremlin pressed on.

"I have been looking and I cannot find any! There were LOTS in Chicago!" The man, thankfully, had a sense of humor and fired back.

"I don't know. Would you like to come back to my house? There are a lot there..." The Gremlin's eyes lit up. He ran over and plucked the backpack out of the MOTG's hands and walked back over.

"Okay, I'm ready!"