Wisdom of a 4 Year Old - On Being Smarter

"Is the baby going to be smarter than you?"
"Gee i hope not - how would I get stuff from him if he was?!"

Scaring For Muffins

The Gremlin was visiting the beach the other day - enjoying time with one of his friends while the Mother of the Gremlin got 'girl time' with one of her friends as well.

This particular day in Seattle, it was windy and wild enough to cause huge crashing waves to breach the seawalls and concrete beaches down by the sound. The Gremlin, with his friend Sydney, were both watching the water, munching on their snacks that the MOTG had just baked.

Just after a few particularly spectacular waves breached, the Gremlin turned to his friend.

"Sydney, watch out or those waves will eat your face!" The poor girl froze and looked at the Gremlin out of the corner of her eye, keeping the waves in front of her so she could watch them too. The Gremlin spoke up again.

"You don't have to be scared, though." The friend of the Gremlin did not believe him, and ate her muffin for comfort.

On the way home, we spoke to the Gremlin.

"Buddy, why did you tell Sydney that the waves would 'eat her face?'"

"Because I wanted her to be scared so she'd drop her muffin because I wanted two!"

Favorite Toy of the Week: Star Wars Darth Vader Watch

Wisdom of a 4 Year-Old - On the Value of a Sibling

To a random lady in Target who commented on the Mother of the Gremlin browsing maternity clothes.

"Oh, I love babies. Are you excited about having a sibling?"

"No. But you can trade me some Legos for it."

"For the baby? Um, I don't know what Legos you'd want. Sorry!"

"We're in Target, the Lego aisle is right there! Or you can give me twenty dollars and I'll get my own. AND you get a baby!"

He's Becoming a 'West Coast' Kid

The Gremlin had yet another exciting trip to the store the other day. He'd gone through the process of shopping with the Mother of the Gremlin, which I can verify is no easy task. While putting his inventory on the conveyor belt he noticed a lack of items that he wanted.

"Mumma! I want five kiwis and five peppers!" The checkout clerk laughed as the MOTG responded.

"Buddy, I don't think you're going to eat five."

"No, mumma! I will!" The clerk was laughing at this point and joined in.

"I bet you won't eat five peppers." The Gremlin glared at the intrusion and snatched up a pepper.

"I bet I will! Bell peppers are my favorite!" And with that, he bit into a red bell pepper like it was an apple. The clerk burst out laughing.

"And you can have that one for free." He looked at the MOTG. "I've never seen a kid to that before. Did you just come from the Health Food Market?"


Favorite Toy of the Week: Mandalorian Battle Pack Lego Set

Wisdom of a 4 Year-Old - On Playing Around

"Are you lying, buddy? Cause lying gets you a timeout."

"No, mumma, I'm teasing, and teasing is funny. You don't go in timeout for being funny!"

Traveling Takes A Lot Out Of You

I know, I just used 'a lot' and it is only partially because of one of the best comics I've ever seen.

We were rather specific about the neighborhood we moved into when we came to Seattle. It offered easy access to public transportation, to the highway, to groceries, as well as a downtown area; but mostly it had a 'neighborhood-y' feel. People smiled and waved and struck up conversation with everyone they passed on the street. People walked. There were community barbeque's and movies. It seemed like a great place to raise a kid.

Lo and behold, one of our neighbors has a daughter the same age as the Gremlin, and the two have become friends. Or had, up until the holiday season. It was only when we traveled to LA over the last week of December that we realized the Gremlin hadn't spent much time with his friend.

"In Seattle I had a friend named Jasper, but I don't know what happened to her." Not that I'm jealous, but a trip to Hawaii (paid for by the grandparents - hint, hint!), and then another trip to Canada to see the other grandparents had left the kindred spirits wondering about the other.

The reunion was as heartfelt as it was hilarious, as after only half an hour the Gremlin looked at her and said, "Jasper, I really enjoyed playing with you cause I forgot what you looked like, but now I have to get back to my toys." And he got up and walked off.


Favorite Toy of the Week: Candyland

PS - the Gremlin has lost 'Lickey' (not Lucky, but Lickey because he licks the Gremlin in his sleep), and the Gremlin has since been  complaining of monsters in his room. Another subtle hint to the grandparents :)

Wisdom of a 4 Year Old - On Hearing 'The Big News'

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I don't want to be a big brother! This is the worst day of my life!"

The Gremlin began warming up to the idea later when he went in to check the ultrasound. The doctor pointed at the new baby (specifically the arm that was being waved up and down excitedly) and asked the Gremlin if he knew what it was. The Gremlin responded, relieved.

"Yeah it's his lifesaver. And its a good thing he has his own cause I wasn't going to share mine." (Lightsaber)

However, he became the most excited when the tech moved the equipment to try to get a picture of the baby's face.

"Oh! Its okay, the baby can come now." The Mother of the Gremlin and the nurse were surprised by this, and asked the Gremlin why. The Gremlin pointed at the ultrasound screen. 

"He is a Star Wars guy!"

The Gremlin vs the TSA

The Gremlin, being the type of person who will stand up to bullying, was traveling through LAX this week when he felt he needed to stand up to the injustice of the TSA. After an hour in the security line, they finally reached.... the person who looks at your ID! However, today was a 'high security' day, and everyone was subject to additional screening.

The agent began asking them questions, and as the Gremlin does, he began answering truthfully.

"What is the purpose of your trip?"

"Aw, c'mon man - I just wanna go home!" The TSA employee looked down at the pint-sized stack of justice and attempted to ignore him.

"Do you have any liquids?"

"No."

"Any water?"

"No."

"Formula?"

"NO."

"Juice?" The Gremlin perked up at this question.

"I want juice! Can you give me some!" The Gremlin was now approaching the TSA employee 'in a threatening fashion' and was tased.

Just kidding.

The TSA employee continued to ignore him and address the Mother of the Gremlin, so the Gremlin interjected again.

"Do you have-"

"Wow you take forever. Are you one of those people my daddy's always talking to?"

The TSA screener finally got the point and let him and the Mother of the Gremlin through. That didn't last for long, though, as they were approached by yet another TSA employee once they'd gone through the metal detectors.

"Excuse me ma'am, is this your bag? We need to take it for additional screening."

And they absconded for another 20 minutes with the bag before returning with the contents emptied out and separated. Except for one, which the TSA employee was holding.

"My rocket ship!" The Gremlin shrieked and ran over as soon as he saw it. He stopped short of the TSA employee (I just can't bring myself to call them 'security') and smiled at him.

"Isn't it beautiful?!" The Gremlin's question caused the TSA employee - a rather large, well-muscled man - to look somewhat sheepish.

"Um, yes, very much so," he responded before looking at the MOTG. "Is this ceramic?" It turns out, the molded, baked, and painted craft space shuttle the Gremlin did at the canyon with his grandmother was made out of the same materials that are used to make the Glock line of handguns, and it threw an alert while being sent through the x-ray machine.


Favorite Toy of the Week: Not the Legos in the Star Wars Clone Walker Battle Pack, but the paper insert that showed all the other Star Wars Legos so he can decide what he wants. (All of them)

Wisdom of a 4 Year-Old - On Withdrawing Money

"But if you can't find your crowbar how do you get money out of the ATM?"

Technical Issues

Due to technical issues (namely the Gremlin learning he is able to throw a lightsaber - thanks again, Auntie Jess ) yesterday's post has been delayed until I can determine what is wrong with my phone and upload the pictures