Equal Opportunity Embarasser

The Gremlin proved his social prowess once again last night as he went from manipulating one crowd to trying to manipulate another. As active and charitable citizens, the Mother of the Gremlin is a member of the Woodland Park Zoo. She decided to bring the Gremlin out for a special trip to their Member's Night.

The Gremlin was enjoying his evening, partaking in the bouncy house, eating stick after stick of free cotton candy. And it was only when he was slowed by a line for his most favorite event of all - the inflatable obstacle course ending in a slide.

After his fifth time through, he and the MOTG found themselves in line next to a very nice, very well-meaning, but ultimately cataclysmic man in line with his son. After a bit of conversational chatter, he sparked the Gremlin.

"Too bad you're not in labor, then you wouldn't have to wait in line," the nice man's off hand comment made the Gremlin's eyes light up, and he turned towards his mother.

"What's labor?"

"It's when the baby is coming right now, so if you are out somewhere, sometimes you don't have to wait in line." The Gremlin sat quietly digesting this. That scary, quiet, thoughtful look came over his face, and the Gremlin stepped out to look down the length of the line.

He turned back to the MOTG, and there, a few feet out of the line, he screamed as loud as a 4 year-old is able to.

"Everybody my mom's having a baby right now so it's gotta be my turn RIGHT NOW!"

There was the sound of beer snorting through a man's nose as the drink of the gentleman behind them was propelled through his nasal passages by a quick laugh, but other than that a silence settled across the entirety of the Woodland Park zoo.

After the MOTG fended off seven or eight offers to call an ambulance and tried to stand in line as inconspicuously as possible, however the Gremlin was distraught.

"I don't understand why I didn't get to go next..."


Favorite Toy of the Week: Playmobile Pirate Ship

And The Baby Is... (According to the Gremlin)

"This is the best worst day ever!"

--Upon finding out the sex of his sibling

And his conversation with the ultrasound technician:

"So what's being four like?"

"It's pretty great. You get to wear Transformer pajamas, play with lightsabers, and eat waffles for dinner!"

"What's the worst part about being four?"

"Having a brother or a sister. I didn't have to have one when I was three, and I didn't have to wipe my own butt either! I miss being three."

Wisdom of a 4 Year Old - On Being Smarter

"Is the baby going to be smarter than you?"
"Gee i hope not - how would I get stuff from him if he was?!"

Wisdom of a 4 Year Old - On Hearing 'The Big News'

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I don't want to be a big brother! This is the worst day of my life!"

The Gremlin began warming up to the idea later when he went in to check the ultrasound. The doctor pointed at the new baby (specifically the arm that was being waved up and down excitedly) and asked the Gremlin if he knew what it was. The Gremlin responded, relieved.

"Yeah it's his lifesaver. And its a good thing he has his own cause I wasn't going to share mine." (Lightsaber)

However, he became the most excited when the tech moved the equipment to try to get a picture of the baby's face.

"Oh! Its okay, the baby can come now." The Mother of the Gremlin and the nurse were surprised by this, and asked the Gremlin why. The Gremlin pointed at the ultrasound screen. 

"He is a Star Wars guy!"