Sled Practice

So the Gremlin was at it again the other day - protecting those bigger than him, and standing up to bigger kids who are 'being mean.' With the recent record snowfalls, the Gremlin was able to break in his new sled.

After his mother got sick of pulling him after her on the sidewalks, she began to search for a hill she could take the Gremlin to. After trying several Chicago Park District parks, unsuccessfully, she found a hill by the lake.

The Gremlin screamed with delight as he flew down the hill, and kicked his mother out after the first time. He also picked up some bad habits as he was the youngest kid there, by a year or two at least. He attempted, and mostly accomplished feats like going down the hill while standing on the sled, going head first, and jumping out when you got to the bottom.

It so happened that he both heard and was the target of some other boys who were there who thought it would be fun to target people and see how many they could knock over. They skimmed the Gremlin once, knocking him down, and were already headed up the hill when he was able to right himself.

The Gremlin does not take kindly to being bullied, and today was no exception. He grabbed his sled and set off after the both of them. He had almost made it up the hill when the bullies headed down, and the Gremlin - on the less-steep slope the kids were using to haul their sleds with more ease - turned around right where he was and followed them down.

Although the Gremlin wasn't able to get hardly any speed, he surprised them enough, and managed to steer his sled with enough accuracy (as he had been practicing for the last three hours) to make both bullies jump to opposite sides in surprise. The Gremlin, utilizing another newly-learned skill, had already jumped off his sled (though at this point it was going approximately 3 inches an hour) and was facing down the two kids, who each had at least a foot on him. The Mother of the Gremlin later told me that he was so angry, all that could be heard was the last part of his tirade.

"Ajabudamatadobonoetgatwasbrilligandfarthyjamaknoda - DON'T DO THAT!" And he retrieved his sled and headed back up the hill. The mother of one of the bullies heard this and came over, speaking to the MOTG.

"Is that your son?" she asked
"Yes."
"He should really watch out - he could have hurt someone."
"I know! I nursed at Northwestern and I'm sure the collision at that speed would have caused a capillary hematoma."
"Yeah! You should really talk to him about that! A what?"
"A bruise. In the meantime, please ask your son or sons to stop doing the same thing at a much higher speed, as what I saw them doing could actually hurt someone."
"Ugh, I'm sure my little Maxie would never-"
"Actually," another mother standing off to the side piped up, "they were. 'Little Maxie' hit my 4 year-old over there, and when I went over there to see if he was okay, the other one tried to hit me." 

The other mother flushed and walked back to her son.

"Is that true?"
"We were just having fun..." The rest of the conversation trailed off as the mother packed up both of the kids and left the park.

At least he didn't push the kid down and smack him again...