The Best Vacation Ever (aka Daddy's Business Trip)

We recently traveled out to scenic Shaumburg (slogan: We're like the Miracle Mile of Chicago, but located in the middle of nowhere!) where the Gremlin decided he was on "the best vacation ever."

It all started with trains (of course): the Gremlin taking the L to get on the Metra, which then had to sit and wait for the Amtrak to pass through a tunnel, which he was able to view out the window. After that he met with the Father of the Gremlin (hi) who then took everyone to a hotel room with... get this... round pillows. Apparently the simple novelty of compacting and rounding a pillow was such an inventive breakthrough that it kept the Gremlin fascinated for a cumulative total of 6 hours. He was only in the city of Shaumburg for a grand total of 24 hours, several of which were spent asleep. From there, however, was a harrowing encounter where the Gremlin was 'almost eaten by a scary alligator' at his new favorite restaurant - Rainforest Cafe.

There were many more fun-filled events including swimming, Ikea, cable kids TV (which is shocking like regular kids TV), train toys, and the elevator (which he was so fascinated with that he spent an hour riding and pushing buttons for businessmen while in his swim trunks).

The only disappointment for him came when the Mother of the Gremlin informed him that he wouldn't be able to go to Legoland. After doing extensive research (reading the reviews on Yelp.com) it was determined that it was not worth visiting for a grand total of $60 to spend 20 minutes looking at the sculptures also visible at the Michigan Avenue store for free.

The MOTG usually breaks this news to the Gremlin by informing him that the store in question is 'closed' thereby halting any toddler-related tantrums. Unfortunately, the MOTG had told this to the Gremlin one too many times.

During one of his 15 trips into the elevator past the front desk, the Gremlin stopped and introduced himself. The MOTG, and the front desk, thought this was adorable, and lowered their guard. The Gremlin, sensing weakness, struck.

"'Scuse me, is Legoland open?" The MOTG glanced frantically over - trying to give the international parenting 'look' for "I have to travel with him today, please cover my lie," but the woman was all eyes for the little curly-haired blonde.

"Of course, honey! It opens at noon, and at 10am on the weekends." The Gremlin looked up at the MOTG.

"I knew it."