Wisdom of a 4 Year-Old - On Punishments and Love

"Momma, why do you put me in timeout?"

"Because we love you."

"Wait, so Daddy loves me more than you?"

Wisdom of a 4 Year-Old - On Spelling and Symbols

This came after I'd had a few conversations with the Gremlin about 'concepts' and how we assign value to symbols to create language and communication.

"Mom do you know how I'm going to spell my brother's name?"

"How?"

"P-o-o-p."

"What? And what does that spell?!"

"My brother."

"Oh really? Is that what that spells?"

"I don't know, I'm four, I can't spell."

Wisdom of a 4 Year-Old - On Returning Home

The Gremlin said this once he found out that I was leaving on a business trip for a week

"But when you come back, are you coming back to this house?"

Good to know the move didn't traumatize him.

Wisdom of a 4 Year-Old - On Tasting Samples

"Well, what do you think? Do you like it?"

"I'm not sure, I think I need another..."

"Here you go. What do you think now?"

"No, I still can't tell. I need one more."

"Okay, how about now?"

"Mmmmm, I still can't tell, but I think I could if I had one more..."

"Okay, here's a handful."

"Oh awesome, these things are great!"

"So you do like them?"

"Aw man! Yeah.... I guess...."

Wisdom of a 4 Year Old - On Being Smarter

"Is the baby going to be smarter than you?"
"Gee i hope not - how would I get stuff from him if he was?!"

Wisdom of a 4 Year-Old - On the Value of a Sibling

To a random lady in Target who commented on the Mother of the Gremlin browsing maternity clothes.

"Oh, I love babies. Are you excited about having a sibling?"

"No. But you can trade me some Legos for it."

"For the baby? Um, I don't know what Legos you'd want. Sorry!"

"We're in Target, the Lego aisle is right there! Or you can give me twenty dollars and I'll get my own. AND you get a baby!"

Wisdom of a 4 Year-Old - On Playing Around

"Are you lying, buddy? Cause lying gets you a timeout."

"No, mumma, I'm teasing, and teasing is funny. You don't go in timeout for being funny!"

Wisdom of a 4 Year-Old - On Withdrawing Money

"But if you can't find your crowbar how do you get money out of the ATM?"

Wisdom of a 4 Year-Old - On Why We're Nice

"Who was there?"
"Sydney and a whole bunch of people I did'nt know."
"Oh, really?"
"Yeah, but I was nice to them anyway."
"Good!"
"Yeah, daddy and Jesus said I had to be."

Wisdom of a 4 Year-Old - On Beauty

"Oh, she's fancy!"

"Fancy? Why do you think she's fancy?"

"Because she's so beautiful!"

(said while watching Chuck)

Wisdom of a 4 Year-Old - On The Right Clothes For The Right Job

"I can't lift that, it makes my pants button pop!"

Wisdom of a 4 Year-Old - On Changing Tastes

"I only liked hummus when I was 3 and 1/2. I don't like it when I'm 4 and won't like it when I'm 5."

Wisdom of a 4 Year-Old - On Food

"I don't like spaghetti. It makes me angry."

Wisdom of a 4 Year-Old - On Wisdom

"No, I know it. I can see it. I know anything. Trust me daddy. This syrup has waffles in it, and when we get home, I'll take a bite of it, I'll taste the waffles, and I'll say, 'Daddy I was right and you were wrong.'"

Wisdom of a 4 Year Old - On Eating Sweets

"Those cookies are for my cake?! I don't want my cake to be more sugary! I want it to be healthy. So can I have some of those cookies now?"

(100 posts!)

Wisdom of a 4 Year Old - On Aging

After being disciplined many, many times by having toys taken away.

"Momma, I very sad. I miss being 3. When I was 3 I had all my toys..."

Wisdom of a 3 and 1/2 Year Old - On Helping

This just happened a few minutes ago:

"Buddy, can you go get mommy and bring her out here for a minute?"
"Okay daddy, I will go get you a beer."
"What? No, get mommy!"
(The Mother of the Gremlin, from the other room) "A beer! Isn't it a little early for beer?"
"Is okay, momma, daddy is cranky, he needs this. Here's your beer daddy."

Wisdom of a 3 and 1/2 Year Old - On Babies

"Buddy, it's Angie's birthday coming up, what do you want to get her?"
"A baseball?"
"Really? Why's that?"
"So I can hit her in the head with it because babies are bad."
"That's not very nice at all. Is there something else you can get her?"
"A backpack. Then I can put her in it and zip it up."

Wisdom of a 3 and 1/2 Year Old - On Fixing, Spanish, and Having a Tough Life

"Sorry buddy, there's something wrong with the computer. I can't figure it out." The Gremlin, sitting on his mothers lap, thought about this before speaking.
"DADDY! COME FIX THE COMPUTER! PLEASE!"


That evening, the Mother of the Gremlin was trying to get the Gremlin to speak Spanish.
"Tiene sueno?" Are you tired?
"No thank you sueno."
"Don't you mean 'no tengo sueno?'"
"No, no thank you sueno!"


"It's hard to be 3 and 1/2. My daddy almost yelled at me!"

Wisdom of a 3 and 1/2 Year Old - On Women

"Do I want to play with Jasp-air? So Sydney is coming on Tuesday? Momma, then Jasp-air can't - I can't have two girls at one time!"